I Cry because I CAN: Tales of a 4th grade actress



How old do you have to be for it to be unacceptable to cry when you are corrected, re-directed or flat out being told the truth?  I am conducting my own Quasi-Research and finding that either all elementary aged kids get a pass or MY daughter is preparing for an OSCAR for the “Best Lead Actress in… “TOWN CRYER”!  I just don’t want her to be the smart, cute girl that smells like wet bologna and boiled eggs or like she waddles in a compost bin!  I love my babies…well they are all bigger kids now, but will always be MY Babies.  I walked pass my nearly 10 year old 4th grader AFTER she showered and my eyes started to water as my nostrils took in the olfactory ASSAULT!  My only thought was; where was the  “soap” ON YOUR BODY while IN THE SHOWER?  Were you  stepping on it? Sliding around on it, soap skating? What in the HELL did you do in there, because you certainly didn’t wash your HIND-PARTS  (as my 83 year old Granny would say)!  I  was beyond baffled, I had given her the female hygiene tutorial on more than a dozen occasions and she is an straight A student, surely she can put theory and demonstration to practice!  And then I look at her and HERE THEY COME…BIG, HURRICANE KATRINA TEARS!! Are you kidding me?  WHAT in the HAM-Sandwich are YOU crying for?  I am the one who has been punched in nose by the FUNK-MONSTER!  She then mumbles in her negative 8 octave voice, “Mommy…I did — USE the Soap!” Now she’s quivering as if she about to go into a diabetic coma!  And my 6 year old son walks in with one of his wrestling men toys clutched in his hands announcing…”And the TOWN CRYER AWARD GOES TO….”  I promise….they are trying to KILL ME!


MESHELLE “The Indie-Mom of Comedy”